


Adrift

by DoodleBug_808



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Rocket Raccoon-centric, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, depressed rocket and thor needed each other okay so that's gonna happen, focusing on the five years, mostly based on what happens in endgame but with a twist, the character death is only the ones from infinity war already so don't worry, there's going to be suffering for ya boys but hopefully there's sweetness and humor as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoodleBug_808/pseuds/DoodleBug_808
Summary: Rocket and Thor have both lost all they care about in such a painfully short amount of time.  Every time they get their hopes up that maybe they can get the people they love back, it seems to be dashed mercilessly by a cruel universe that never seems to cut them a break.  Fixing this Snap seems to be the only way either of them can find closure, but the horrible question of "what if they can't fix it?" looms large.  As they plan to go get Thanos and make him pay, their lost families and guilt haunt them both... but maybe they aren't quite as alone as they first thought.  Maybe they can be adrift in this new, emptier galaxy together.This story largely follows the plot of Avengers: Endgame but with the twist being what if Rocket and Thor grew closer as they both realize they really only have each other now?  Rather than separating after what happens in the Garden, this focuses on what might have happened if driven by their mutual depression, guilt, and pain they came to rely on each other in the five years that follow the Snap.A couple chapters also focus on Nebula's growing closeness to Tony and Pepper as she tries to build a new life for herself in a universe without Thanos or Gamora.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Rocket Raccoon & Thor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not great at summaries but I couldn't get this idea out of my head after watching Endgame. Rocket loses so much compared to the other characters so I wanted to go deep into the first scenes of Endgame from his point of view and then branch off from there into what I think he'd do in the five years! Because Thor has also lost so much, and they have a great dynamic in Infinity War, I liked the idea of them building a stronger friendship to get through the years after the Snap and picturing their misadventures as they struggle to cope with their losses. I'm not sure how long this will be yet? But I've already written quite a bit for it so we'll see where it goes. I hope you enjoy!

Rocket had heard the rumbles and felt them shake the building as something large approached from the sky.

His movements were slower these days so he wasn't as peppy as some of the others when it came to getting to the window, but when he did get there, all he could see was a streak of yellow light mixed with bolts of every other color imaginable coming their way.Fast.The other, taller heroes murmured things amongst themselves in tones too soft and too quick for him to bother putting in the effort to listen and rushed for the doors as he had expected them to.

A billion tired possibilities flowed through Rocket's brain.Had Thanos sent another ship full of troops to wipe the last of them out?It seemed unlikely given that Thanos achieved what he wanted to achieve.He won and he did it.Why would he need to kill anyone else?His mission was complete in seconds.Half of all life was... gone. Gone.Rocket's stomach dropped as it did a thousand times a day as the horrible, slow-motion memory of Groot drifting away from his hands like fading pixels replayed in his mind.Groot was gone.He was gone.He was GONE.Rocket felt his heart clench, his breathing hitch, and his eyes squeeze shut as he fought another daily wave of grief.Hot tears left unshed stung his exhausted eyes.What was he going to tell the others when he saw them next?Where in the galaxy were they?

Shaking his head slowly, he jerked himself back to the present moment and tried to retrace his mental steps back to what he'd been thinking about.Right.The light.Probably not anything from the big cruel purple monster then.Likely not any typical human things either given the others’ reactions.He didn’t know much about Earth’s atmosphere, but probably not a meteor based on the look of it.Maybe it was a ship-

His heart stopped dead at the idea of a ship.As crazy, impossible, or unlikely a possibility as it was- not to mention unbelievably cruel to waft in front of his broken mental state if it turned out to not be true- there… there had to be a possibility it was them right?That they might come looking for him here?Thor had said something about Earth even if he hadn’t told the other Guardians that they would come here.It-It might be-

He didn’t give himself much more time to think that through as he started to scurry after the other heroes.Rocket paused for a second and glanced over his shoulder back at Thor in the room he’d secluded himself in.The thunder god stared straight ahead at the floor as he had more and more these days, either ignoring or not realizing that everyone was leaving.He was the only person Rocket knew so they’d spent a lot of the time stuck in this Strange Human Headquarters together after leaving Wakanda.Leaving was just one big, hazy, shock and anguish-filled blur to Rocket now, but he vaguely remembered Thor comforting him through his initial horror and pain.He’d tried to pay him back for that by at least making sure he wasn’t alone in his box-of-a-room all the time.At the moment, he was all Rocket had.He thought about asking Thor if he wanted to come check out the light with him but the draw of it maybe, MAYBE, being his friends was too much for him to justify even waiting those couple more seconds.

Rocket followed the "Avengers"- he still didn’t get what exactly they were avenging, or why there had been so many people here to avenge things- out of the doors and into the fresh air without being noticed.The doorway looked out on the wide field next to the compound which had a clear view of the open sky and stars that being in a less crowded area provided.But Rocket gasped loud enough for three of the people in front of him to jump as soon as his gaze went up for another reason entirely.

There, hanging in the Earth sky and descending towards them, was the _Benatar_ in all her glory.The sleek shape and bright colors being lifted by the living glow stick they’d met a few days ago were the most glorious things Rocket had seen since Nidavilier and his eyes watered involuntarily just seeing it.Home.

“It’s here.”He whispered.

“What is that ship?”The hero Rocket thought he heard people call “Iron Patriot”- who let that first draft name slide by?- asked him.Rhodey he thought his real name was after a little more thinking.

Rocket couldn’t help the big smile that spread across his face as he tore his eyes off the ship to look at him. “That’s my ship!” He exclaimed. “The _Benatar_!Me and the rest of the Guardians live and cruise the galaxy in that beauty right there!They gotta be in there!”

Rhodey looked back up at it a little more skeptically. “Why is she holding your ship?Wasn’t she out there to get Tony?” He wondered, perhaps thinking out loud more than asking Rocket specifically.But Rocket’s enthusiasm was finally too much to bear and he started running as fast as he could towards the landing ship.

“No offense, metal boy, but I don’t really care!” He shouted back. “It’s here!They’re here!” He repeated those sentences over and over again in his head.It was here!His ship and his friends were finally here to rescue him from this horrible nightmare.He wouldn’t be forced to live out the most agonizing days of his life since immediately after Xander surrounded by these human strangers on this rock.He knew he’d have to tell them about… about Groot, and that would break him just as painfully as when it had just happened, but at least he wouldn’t have to grieve losing him alone.They could help him think about how to make Thanos pay and bring Groot back again. 

He also knew the bone-chilling fact that they might not all be there.That a couple of them would go down that ramp, scared about telling _him_ how they’d lost one of their little family on _their_ mission, and that scared Rocket down to his core.The sharp stabbing thought that he might have already lost Quill or Drax or Gamora or Mantis on top of Groot was so terrible and painful that it made his blood run cold as he finally reached Cap at the edge of their group on the ground.But he didn’t have anyone or anything right now.The constant worry and fear that not knowing who was alive and who wasn’t brought every time he woke up was far too much for him to take for even one more minute.He just needed to see some of his friends, have one of his family to hold onto and assure him that he wasn’t alone.That they would mourn Groot and whoever else Thanos had torn away from them together on their ship.That they’d bring them all back together just like they did everything else.

He just needed to see them.

“Captain Marvel,” as she had introduced herself a couple days back, landed hard and set the _Benatar_ down on its landing gear.Rocket watched her lock eyes with Captain America- he had been told it was a country but that did nothing to ease his confusion- but her expression didn’t change.If there was something bad or something good inside, she gave them no clues.Rocket didn’t care about her though and switched just as quickly from looking at her to watching the closed hatch with growing anticipation.

_Come on, guys._ He thought desperately. _Open up!Come on out.I need to see you’re okay- please, please be okay!I’m right here!Don’t make me wait anymore.Please._

As though responding to his silent pleas at last, the ramp to the _Benatar_ slowly descended and Rocket felt butterflies raise in his chest.This was happening!It was finally happening!

He was suddenly struck by utter confusion though as the chick who had arrived yesterday- her name was some sort of spice they’d said… Salt?No.Paprika?Parsley?Some weird human thing- made a beeline for his ship and to one of the figures limping out.As Cap followed, Rocket realized that the two people stumbling out of his ship were Nebula, of all people, and some human guy.Nebula was holding up the very weak looking man, acting easily more patient and gentle than Rocket had ever seen her because every other time he’d seen her she was trying to kill someone.From the way the lady rushed up and hugged the guy and Rogers hung around the two of them, this must be that Tony guy Captain Marvel was supposed to find.But why was he on the _Benatar_?Why was Nebula on the _Benatar_?Where were the others?

As the humans reunited, Rocket moved closer to try and look up the ramp.It was unusually dark inside but he didn’t see anyone coming closer with his advanced darkvision either.As he crept even closer, Nebula finally seemed to notice him and as they locked eyes, something that looked like pity or sadness seeped into her stare.Rocket’s heart dropped before she could even move.

Nebula slowly shook her head.She knew what he was doing.She knew what he was looking for.Who he was looking for.And she was saying no.

Rocket’s body went numb and his breathing hitched again.No.There had to be someone.No.It couldn’t be all of them.No!There had to be someone!No, no, no, nO, NO, NO, NO!

“Why are you here?!” He shouted, his voice so loud and raw already that all the humans stopped and looked at him.Nebula didn’t move a muscle and her gaze stayed the same.Her obvious pity and permanently stoic expression made his face and chest grow uncomfortably hot with rage. “How did you get on the _Benatar_?Where are the others??”

Nebula’s expression didn’t change but it took a moment for her to answer. “They aren’t here,” She said simply but her voice conveyed the twinge of sadness her expression didn’t.Rocket’s heart stopped altogether. “My father succeeded, as I’m sure you already know.He did it.And then there was just me… and him.” She gestured vaguely in Tony’s direction but Rocket didn’t notice.His glare intensified more as each second passed until a terrible growl escaped his mouth.

“No!!You’re lying!You have to be!” He screamed at her.She winced a bit at the sudden power in his words, as did everyone, but he didn’t care.They had to be in there.One of them had to survive!How could half of all life include his **entire** family?? “Why would you be on **our** ship?Where are they?!”

Nebula didn’t move to respond nearly as fast as Rocket wanted her to and his rage increased.A glittery sheen slowly covered her organic eye but this only seemed to make Rocket angrier.What right did she have to be sad even a little?!She didn’t care about anyone!!Least of all any of his family!

“They are gone.” She whispered and Rocket couldn’t take it anymore.He lunged in her direction, hellbent on checking the ship himself.He didn’t need to take her word for it!They were in there, they had to be!

A hand started to go for his shoulder without warning but Rocket twisted away from the touch at the last second with a snarl.He whirled around and saw Captain America reaching out towards him with concern written all over his face.Everyone was staring at them but Rocket didn’t care what they thought. “Rocky-“ The human hero began but Rocket’s fury grew even stronger with that mistake.

“That’s **NOT** my name!It’s RockET!” He roared back.Rogers didn’t even flinch as he put his hand back down. “Stay out of this.”

Captain Marvel was suddenly on his other side, making Rocket jump a foot in the air.Her stare down at him bordered on cold but he didn’t think she meant it that way necessarily.She glanced at Nebula in what felt like slow motion and then back to him, but this time there was more of that pity in her eyes and he hated it so much it hurt. “She’s right,” Danvers said slowly. “There’s no one else on the ship.”

Rocket gaped at her for a long, long moment as the harsh reality settled further and further into his already defeated soul.His eyes screwed shut as the tears involuntarily began to flow.He couldn’t have stopped them if he tried.Gone.All gone.All gone.All of them.All of them!Gamora, Quill, Drax, Mantis, Groot, all **gone**!The only family he’d ever had, the only people he’d ever cared about, the only people who had ever, **ever** given a single crap about him and they were all all gone.He could feel his heart shatter completely as he sobbed into the grass.He wasn’t sure when or how he ended up on the ground but it didn’t matter anymore.Nothing did. 

Nothing except the monster who had taken them all from him.He would make him fix this and then tear him apart piece by piece so he would feel just a **fraction** of the pain Rocket felt right here right now.His worst, most horrendous nightmare had come true and it was like the whole universe was caving in around him.

He vaguely heard the humans talking fast to each other but no one dared touch him.Good.They were smarter than they looked.He didn’t want to hear what they were saying but he heard his name said a couple of times.They were probably discussing what to do with him, why he was reacting so strongly.He didn’t hear Nebula’s voice amongst them but he didn’t have any rage or curiosity left to wonder about it.All he could feel was the pounding waves of grief, sorrow, hopelessness, and pain that hit him again and again like punches to his stomach.Gone.All gone.

He felt the ground tremble as something hit it hard but he didn’t bother to look up.It didn’t matter.Nothing did.If it was bad, he’d be free of all of this soon.If it was anything else, it wouldn’t affect him anyway.

The voices became faster and then suddenly silent, which could have meant anything good or bad.Rocket didn’t care.Another sob wracked his frame and it hurt more than any of the others, which meant he must have been at this for a while.It felt like it had been seconds and eternity at the same time.

Tentative fingers touched the top of his head and he gasped as the memory of Drax reaching out to try and comfort him as he sobbed just like this on Xander flashed before his mind’s eye.But this time it wasn’t Drax.A sniff to check the scent and a quick glance upwards confirmed that.

Crouching next to him was Thor. He wasn’t sure if Thor came on his own or someone got him or why he was here, but Rocket didn’t snap his fingers off with his teeth which he would have done if it had been anyone else.Thor didn’t look down at him with the pity the others had or the concern or the misguided sympathy when they couldn’t _possibly_ understand what he was feeling, especially since they didn’t know him.Thor looked down at him just with empathy.An empathy that clearly came from recognition because he had felt this way too.From what scattered bits of their conversation in the pod that felt like ages ago Rocket’s poor mind could remember, he believed him.

“Rabbit,” Thor muttered so only he could hear.Rocket noted the nickname but didn’t comment on it. “Do you want to rest in the compound or your ship?” At the mention of the _Benatar_ , so full of memories that were guaranteed to hurt, Rocket crumpled back in on himself involuntarily.His chest felt tight like his ribcage was crushing his insides picturing the walls and rooms that made up his whole world, but he fought it off enough to look up at Thor again.He found only understanding in Thor’s face so he took his time rediscovering his voice.Despite the flood of memories, his ship was home and comfort and that compound just wasn’t.

“Ship.” He whispered just loud enough for Thor’s godly ears to hear.He responded with a nod.

“Can you walk there or would you prefer some help?” The idea of having to be helped to his own ship made Rocket want to snarl and his ears went back.But the thought of getting up, and shifting his legs a bit to see if he even could, made him realize how exhausted he suddenly was.He wasn’t sure how long he’d been here on the ground but as he came out of his breakdown enough to focus on his body again, everything ached and burned.His knees and feet screamed in agony for being folded up in a kneel on the ground for this long.His shoulders and back stung like he had fresh stab wounds wherever his dreaded implants were as they tried to keep him in a shape his body wasn’t organically built to be in for so long.Not to mention his fiery lungs, cheeks, eyes, throat, and nose which had put up with his screams, sobs, and tears this whole time.All his energy was long past spent and despite all his emotions and muddled thoughts, his body yearned for sleep.He hated to ask for help, but he couldn’t get to the _Benatar_ on his own.He would have probably just let himself sleep right there on the grass if he had been alone, not caring enough about anything anymore to bother with such a trivial thing as a bed, but Thor likely wouldn’t allow that.

“I… I need the help.Please.” He choked out at last, his voice raspier than usual from the abuse it had been through.Thor nodded again and moved to pick him up.Rocket was too weak to even attempt to protect his dignity by helping or shifting into a better position, but Thor didn’t make a big deal of it or linger, likely in an effort to protect it for him.He lifted him like he weighed nothing at all- which given what Rocket saw at Nidavilier probably wasn’t far from the truth for him- and turned towards the ship. 

Rocket didn’t open his eyes, cradled in Thor’s arms, as they went up the ramp.He didn’t open them when they entered either.He didn’t have to.It was all right there in his mind after the thousands of times he had done just that.And the image in his mind was more than torture enough. 

His keen sense of smell picked up all the familiar scents that hurt and a couple new ones that merely told him things his eyes probably wouldn’t have. The ship was broken.He figured that out since Captain Marvel had had to fly it in rather than it flying itself, but he could smell the metal behind the panels they usually had closed and the sharpness of the fuel from their cells and reactors.Someone had been messing with it.Someone who wasn’t him or Quill.Rage filled his chest again since anyone tampering with their ship felt like the cruelest sacrilege, but a tiny part of him recognized that the ship had likely been dead in the water.They had been trying to survive.He’d accept that and stop being angry eventually, but not yet.

He smelled a distinctly human smell that was fresher than Quill’s background scent.Had to be that Tony guy.He picked up the metal and flesh weirdness that was Nebula as they passed certain hallways.It clawed at his mind how he recalled that scent so well because he recognized it on himself.He hated having to be close to her and smell it on her because it threw him right back to the smells of the lab he had worked so hard to forget.He wondered briefly if her advanced senses made her feel the same way when she smelled him.He couldn’t take it anymore and leaned a little further into Thor so he’d smell the cotton of his shirt and the metallic scent that came from his constant electricity instead.

“Where do you want to be, Rabbit?” Thor asked but Rocket felt it like a rumble of thunder more than heard it given his position.It took him a moment to get his brain to understand it and a longer moment yet to come up with an answer.Where did he want to go?Every… every room, every wall, every chair or bed was going to remind him of them.Where did he want to be?

With a sigh, he supposed his bed in his room would hurt the least.He had contemplated his chair in the cockpit, but waking up with a view of Earth surrounded by empty seats that should have been full of his friends felt enough to kill him at this point. “My room.Third door in the right side hallway.” He murmured.Thor didn’t move at first and he had spoken so soft that Rocket feared he’d have to gather the strength to say it again, but eventually he felt Thor head in that direction.

What felt like an eternity later, he heard the familiar _whoosh_ of his bedroom door as it slid open.The ship batteries were functioning enough still to do that, which was probably why the human was still alive.Life support was likely weak, but still on.He hated not being able to hear the _Benatar_ whir and buzz and hum as it always did.It seemed one more bit of his life he couldn’t have at the moment.But the ship he could fix.Fixing was what he always did when life broke what he loved.He’d fix the _Benatar_.And he’d fix that friggin’ snap too once he was conscious enough to figure out how again.

He heard Thor try to click the lights on, give up, and then gingerly step in and approach the bed.Rocket felt himself be pulled away from Thor’s chest and set down on the thin blanket and mattress that sank just the right amount as his body hit it.It almost brought tears his body didn’t have to his eyes he had missed it so much.The memory of shopping for this mattress and the effort his family went through to find one that was cushioned enough for Rocket to “sink into it and never feel those implants” as Gamora had told him in a private moment was enough to draw a harsh sob out of him before he could stop it. 

He felt Thor tense a bit at the sound despite him no longer touching him but he didn’t mention it which Rocket appreciated.Instead, he heard him stand up straighter and pause a long moment.Rocket was already drifting off as the tendrils of exhaustion curled further around him to drag him down, but he could tell Thor wanted to say something else and tried to wait for it. “If… If you need anything else, you know where to find me.” Thor said.Rocket didn’t reply but he recognized that it was nice of Thor to offer.Thor hadn’t left that room in the common area for much of anything these last couple weeks, but he had left to make sure he was okay.That was something.

After a few more moments, Thor left the room and Rocket heard the door _whoosh_ shut. 

He knew what the room looked like without opening his eyes and it hurt. 

He could hear, however faint, the distant hum of the _Benatar_ ’s remaining battery and it hurt. 

He felt his body absorbed by the mattress he’d slept on for the last four years and for the first time, it hurt. 

He smelled his friends, distant but so, so distinct and it hurt.So.Much.

It was like they were there.

But they weren’t there.

They may never be there again.

He had to fix this.He couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t.

One more sob broke the silence.

And then the darkness of an exhausted, dreamless, void-filled sleep took him over at last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more hurt/comfort than just hurt this time round, hence why I'm posting it now rather than later. The last one was a bummer but this one is better, I promise.

"Thor?" Steve called into the small room. 

Thor barely stirred, the interruption only just bringing him out of his thoughts enough to flick his mismatched eyes in his direction. Steve looked tired. Thor couldn't stop noticing that since the last time he had been on Earth and seen Steve felt like decades ago. Steve had changed more than the man probably realized. They both had. 

"Tony's starting to wake up and we're going to talk about a plan." Cap continued. 

Thor grunted his acknowledgement and began to sink back into his thoughts. _Next time he'd go for the head. There would be a next time, and then, he would go for the head._

"Thor?" With a jolt he realized Steve was still talking to him.

"Yeah?" His voice cracked a bit from lack of use but Steve didn't seem to notice.

Steve looked down briefly and sighed. "We need everyone to at least know about it. If you want to stay in here during the meeting, that's fine. But..." He paused for a long while and looked towards the window overlooking the compound field. "But Rocket should probably know what's going on. And he's far more likely to take the message from you than from me."

Thor _hmmm_ ed deep in his chest at the mention of his small friend. He had initially thought the worst when he heard him screaming and shouting outside from in this room last night, but even so he had been unprepared for the state he'd be in when he flew out there. To lose everyone you care about is a terrible, soul-destroying fate that few, if any, deserve. But to lose them all at once was a different level of pain entirely. Thor had not know Rocket’s morons long, but their closeness was extremely clear even from that brief amount of time.The murmured “I personally could lose a lot” from their chat in the pod before Nidavilier came to his mind again and made him feel for his friend even more. 

Rocket had been broken in his anguish, so caught up and hurt that he was unaware of almost anyone or anything, when Thor landed on the Avengers lawn.Thor could understand that. The others didn't know Rocket well enough to know how to help him without making things worse and Thor had come out to help anyway so he had been more than willing to take over. Thor could scarcely imagine the state the poor guy would be in this morning after the emotional and physical torment he went through less than six hours ago.

"Are you sure he's essential for this?" Thor asked. "If he is getting much needed rest or taking the time he needs to recover, I would hate to disturb him."

"I hate to disturb him too since we all know grieving takes a whole lot of time," Steve admitted. "But Tony coming back is big. He was on the other side of this battle and we need to know what he knows. If he knows anything that'll give us a chance, we'll have to decide what to do with it. We got a lot of people in here who are already done waiting. Rocket deserves at least the option to be a part of our choice."

Thor could agree with that. Rocket had lost his family and he would want the sweet revenge and justice Thor craved as well. Thor didn't care about the meeting. They would simply tell him where Thanos was and he'd fix the mistake he made.Simple. But Rocket might care about the meeting. So he'd go tell him what was going on.

"Alright." Thor declared as he got up and made for the door.He left Stormbreaker leaning against the bench because he knew he’d be back in a moment.And he feared walking in with the literal amputated arm of one of Rocket’s lost family members might be a bad idea.

Before he could pass him though, Steve put his hand on his shoulder and stared at him intently. “Please tell him we’re sorry,” He said. “And that if he needs anything at all we’re here for him.”

“I believe my good friend Rabbit needs the same thing I need.” Thor felt Cap’s hand slip off as he began to walk for the doors outside. “The same thing everyone needs.” He paused for just a moment to look back at the Captain, his hand on the door handle.Steve was stoic and inscrutable as he waited for Thor to finish.

“He needs to kill Thanos.”

And he left.

* * *

The Guardians’ ship seemed even quieter today than it had last night.He wasn’t sure if it was for an actual reason or because he was able to focus on it more, but the ship felt smaller.Quieter.Emptier than it had.There was more light than last night though as the sunlight streaming through the open windshield poured around corners and into the bowels of the flamboyant vessel.

Not wanting to outstay his welcome or trespass in Rocket’s home, Thor retraced his steps and reached the door he had closed last night.It was open now.

Thor hesitated, not wanting to invade his friend’s privacy since this was his room and he was unsure what state he would be in.He supposed a knock would help and raised his hand to rap gently on the metal door frame with one of his knuckles.Like most things around the thunder god, it seemed to boom and echo much louder than he wanted it to.He winced a bit at that and tried to gather his thoughts. “Rabbit?It’s me, Thor… The, uh, Avengers are going to talk to Stark about what he saw in… space.He- he was resting for a while and now he’s awake, I suppose, so… they’re going to ask him about space.And _him_.I believe he fought the guy we won’t mention so they’re going to ask him about that too…“ Why was he so bad at this?Why hadn’t he thought what he’d say through on his walk over here?

He sighed and risked a peek inside the room after about a minute with no response.There were no lights on inside but the distant sunlight illuminated one thing enough to make Thor pause.

The bed he had left Rocket in last night was empty.

“Rabbit?” He called deeper into the room, continuing to use the nickname he refused to let go of at this point.While he knew others called him by his real name, Thor hadn’t been corrected by Rocket himself yet which he took as a kind of approval in itself.His call was met with silence and a quick glance around the room seemed to confirm that no one was in here.He saw the indent of where Rocket had been sleeping in the bed still, which meant it hadn’t been long since he’d left it, but there was nobody here now.

Thor frowned.He hoped Rocket hadn’t wandered far.After what he had just learned and been through, Thor could imagine a lot of things that could go wrong if he went somewhere or did something on a whim.

He slowly searched the ship in the hope that Rocket was still on here somewhere.He was careful to avoid any rooms that looked too personal to respect the Guardians’ and Rocket’s privacy, but he figured the common areas were safe enough to explore without intruding.Hopefully he was right.

Thor crept through the main work area where he had met the Guardians first.Rocket wasn’t there but the myriad tools, maps, weapons, clothes, knick knacks, gears, tubes, and hoses on the table and floor kept his eyes busy as he took in the room’s many details.It seemed like it was a mash-up of work station, food table, and prep room for the airlock and escape pod at the back.It was messy for sure- messier than last he’d seen it- but it was undoubtably multifunctional as the center of the whole ship.

He moved past the table to peek into the cockpit and was once again disappointed.The six seats were all empty.That very fact seemed sad and uncharacteristic to Thor who hardly knew the Guardians, so the pain seeing it must cause Rocket had to be unbearable.This made the hunt to find him feel even more urgent.He continued to search, passing into the kitchen area and then another hallway with doors to bedrooms and what he guessed was the bathroom.Still no Rocket anywhere and now his concern was starting to increase the pace of his search.He really didn’t want to go tearing apart rooms, but he would if he had to.

He rushed down the hallway towards the back of the ship, down a short set of stairs, and into a long engine room surrounded by large support beams, compartments, screens, engines, and power cells.His eyes scanned the room as fast as he could and finally, finally settled on the small form he was looking for.

Rocket was sitting down against one of the rear engines.A large fuel cell was in front of him and the various tools and wires around him indicated that he was trying to fix it.Everything was thrown around him like they had been tossed down without much thought.Rocket’s brown ears were down, the first indicator of the broken emotional state Thor knew he’d be in, and underneath a set of… what did Earth people call those again?Ear-something-or-others?Phones?Did it have to do with phones?Either way, they were pumping music faintly audible even from where Thor was standing and hid his presence from Rocket until he was fully inside the room.

Rocket looked up at him slowly and Thor felt a pang of sympathy for him instantly.His eyes were sunken in and darker than they usually were from the exhaustion of last night and the grief Thor could tell had been a big part of this morning as well.There was no trace of the brightness his friend’s wit, smarts, and sense of humor usually brought to his eyes.His whole body was hunched over as though the entire universe was trying its best to pull him into the floor.Poor Rocket just looked hopelessly tired and depressed.His expression hardly changed as he realized Thor was there, his ears only moving up an inch or so.

“There you are.” Thor said at last.It was stupid and didn’t need saying but he was honestly relieved he had found him.Rocket’s stare remained the same as Thor stepped closer.He tried not to go too fast but he had never been a very patient person, as his mother and brother had loved to point out.The thought of his lost family members made his heart ache but he let it go for the moment. 

Rocket looked even more defeated up close, his arms limp at his sides and the top of the jumpsuit he usually had over his undershirt tied weakly around his waist instead.Thor pointed at the small vacant space beside him to ask for permission to sit down.After a long, long pause, Rocket shifted his gaze to his feet and nodded ever so slightly.Thor took his chance and sat gingerly down beside him.Rocket finally moved as he did so, lethargically pulling the over-ear-music-things off his ears and down to his shoulders.The peppy tune coming out of them seemed so out of place given Rocket’s tragic demeanor and situation that it made Thor’s brow furrow a little before he could stop it.

Thor didn’t want him to feel studied or judged so he took to staring at the big pieces of machinery in this strange room instead of him as he thought about what to say. “Do you need anything from me, sweet Rabbit?” He murmured eventually.It was in every way a strange question.The nickname might have helped soften the tension reminding Rocket of his trauma brought about, or it might have fallen flat completely and just been weird.But it was something.And they both knew what Rocket truly needed.Yet the question hung in the air even so.

The silence stayed stagnant but not uncomfortable between them for several minutes as Rocket seemed to go quickly through his stages of grief all over again.Thor watched out of the corner of his eye as the smaller mammal’s face contorted as his rage, guilt, sorrow, and hopelessness all came back up to the surface.If he had known him better, he would have already squeezed his shoulder or held him close to ensure he knew he was not alone in his battle like he would have a grieving friend on Asgard, but he resisted the urge.Mortals were so different from Asgardians and on top of that Rocket seemed extra sensitive to touch.He would hate to make things worse by overstepping his boundaries. 

Rocket’s face finally settled on a grimace that expressed his sadness and his loss. “No,” He croaked out.His broken voice cut through Thor even more than his appearance.This smart little warrior he had immediately admired the strength of had truly been shattered to his core… and it was all his fault. _Next time he'd go for the head. There would be a next time, and then, he would go for the head._ He wasn’t sure how long he stayed spiraled in his own thoughts before Rocket surprised him by speaking again. “I have to fix this, Thor.I can’t-“ He was forced to stop, eyes closing and a hard sniff coming out as his head fell up against his knees.He took a moment to recollect himself before continuing. “I can’t rest until I figure out how to fix this.”

Thor allowed that to settle for a while before replying. “The fuel cell?”

“Not that,” Rocket sighed and shot him a quick warning glare.Thor felt bad about irritating him, but he was glad Rocket was at least coming out of his stupor and talking a bit more. “Well, yes actually.But… that’s not what I meant.”

Thor nodded and his repetitive thoughts began again. _This was all his fault._ But his concern overwrote his guilt for now. “How long have you been up working on these?” He asked, tapping the contraption a little with his foot. “Either of the things you must fix?”

Rocket’s eyes opened back up but his forehead stayed pressed against his worn jumpsuit. “A while,” Came the simple answer.Thor _hmmm_ ed.The silence took over again as they both slipped deeper into their own tortured thoughts.Thor tried to think of anything someone wiser or kinder than him would say to comfort Rocket in his moment of grief, but he couldn’t think of anything that sounded right.He tried to imagine what his mother would have told him if she were here but what had always made him feel best was when she held him close.That image made his chest feel tighter and tighter until he had to think of something else.

A small exhale made him look at Rocket again and they met eyes.The sorrow inside his friend’s suddenly open gaze made Thor feel even worse. “They… they can’t just be _gone_ ,” Rocket choked out. “If _he_ can do this than there has to be a way to reverse it.I can’t-“ His voice hitched as a strangled sob deep in his throat got in the way of those words for the second time.Thor didn’t move as he waited for him to finish. “I just can’t let myself think of the possibility where there’s not.”

“Well, the Avengers seem to agree with you.Stark, the man who arrived in this ship of yours, is waking up now and they want to talk to him about what he saw out in space.Find out whether he knows something they can use to make a plan.Rogers wanted me to make sure I told you that in case you wanted to be part of it.”

Rocket thought hard about that but didn’t address it specifically. “I have to fix this,” was all he whispered.Thor could empathize with his determination and stuck thinking.

“If anyone can, I believe you can.And I will assist you on your quest in any way I can.” Rocket seemed to appreciate his promise because some tension came out of his shoulders and his expression softened a bit.Even so, Thor sighed and braced himself.He couldn’t continue this conversation with Rocket any longer without confessing, as much as it may hurt to say the thoughts he had been tormenting himself for weeks with aloud. “But I must fix my mistake as well.”

Rocket raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise.His expectant gaze made Thor regret his actions which replayed over and over in his head even more, but he couldn’t bear holding in his guilt anymore.Rocket’s pain was because of his mistake and he couldn’t sit here and comfort him like that wasn’t true.

He turned to face Rocket a little more and he didn’t shy away from him like Thor half expected him to.That was a promising sign of their growing closeness he hoped. “Back in Wakanda, during the battle, I hit Thanos-“ He watched Rocket’s face darken and twist painfully at the name and Thor wished he had been more careful with it. “Hit _him_ with Stormbreaker.Stormbreaker was made to kill him as you well know and I… I was so **close**.I sunk it into his chest and shoulder and it did its job beautifully.He should have died and might have done so if I been swift enough or smart enough to realize he could still use the stones.” Rocket thought that over but his expression didn’t change to the anger and betrayal Thor felt it should have for his crime.He sighed and the words came tumbling back out. “I could have cut off his head, Rabbit.I could have struck him down once and for all with a deadly blow to the neck.For Nine’s sake, I could have cut off his hand and made sure he didn’t even have a chance to use the stones.But I didn’t do either of those things and he was able to do exactly what he set out to do, wasn’t he?In my hubris I wanted to see the light leave his eyes and watch him realize I had exacted my revenge rather than quickly strike him down.But the universe needed him dead, not my thirst for revenge.My error was so great and foolhardy that he called me out on it himself.Rabbit, I failed you and everyone else who lost someone to this Snap.All the deaths his Snap caused were able to happen because I had him right where I wanted him but my deep, Asgardian pride got in the way of what needed to be done.”

Rocket stared up at him in shock but to Thor’s bewilderment, he still saw none of the rage he expected even as the minutes passed and his confession sunk in.Rocket was suffering the loss of his whole family- his whole world!- because of his blunder.Why was he not immediately chastising and denouncing him for his arrogance and senselessness?His actions were the reason for his friend’s suffering so why wasn’t he taking his revenge and exiling him for his failure?Thor instead watched Rocket’s brow furrow as he continued to stare at him, his confusion only seeming to grow more with each passing second.

“What the freakin’ flarp are you talking about?” Rocket finally spat out.Thor was far too shocked to answer for a beat.

“I… I’m so sorry, Rabbit, but my arrogance is the reason for your loss,” Thor tried to explain, his regret filling each syllable but pushing on even so.He had to make him see this. “If I had killed him properly or thought even a little bit harder about what I was doing, he wouldn’t have-“

“What are you talking about, Thor??” Rocket asked again, this time even more irritated and insistent.Thor was stunned into silence as Rocket stood up to look him level in the eyes.Rocket swayed a bit in his weakened state and his emotions were obviously raw and sapped but a glimmer of his previous strength seemed to return to his eyes. “You aren’t the reason all those people died in the Snap!Your ‘arrogance’ didn’t cause my pain or take my family away from me. _He_ did that, not you!This has been _his_ goal since the beginning!Unless you put the gauntlet on and did a Snap I don’t know about, I don’t see how you can blame yourself for this.”

Thor tore his eyes away, unable to believe him. “But if I hadn’t let my hubris get the better of me, if I had aimed to kill him where he stood as I should have as the wielder of Stormbreaker, he would not have been able to snap at all and billions would have been spared the fate he had planned for them.”

“Thor, you had just finished being struck with the full power of a sun not an hour before then,” Rocket continued.Thor made to interrupt but Rocket silenced his argument with one glare. “You were still grieving the fresh pain of losing your brother less than 24 hours before _that_.You visited the ‘forge of your kingdom’ or whatever that legends all over the galaxy speak in awe about and found it hollow and cold and utterly disappointing.Not to mention you had been fighting like a thousand of _his_ goons before even getting to him and were likely as exhausted and hurt from that as the rest of us were.Or do your god powers keep you from ever getting tired?” Thor still couldn’t look at him.He wasn’t getting it; this was _all his fault_. “Yeah, maybe if you had hit his head or chopped his hand things would have been different.Or maybe they would have been worse.Or maybe they would have opened a whole ‘nother can of worms we couldn’t even imagine.We don’t know.But Thor, you did the thing you thought was right at the time using what you had, and what happened happened.It wasn’t your fault.It was Thanos’s.He’s the one to blame, not you.”

Thor sighed and finally met Rocket’s eyes.They were intensely staring him down but he saw no malice there. “I recognize that he is still our true enemy, but I refuse to believe I share no blame in what happened.”

“I could blame myself for what happened to my family by reminding myself that I didn’t go with them to get the reality stone away from him,” Rocket mumbled, his eyes closing now.Thor stiffened instantly, the undercurrent of pain in Rocket’s voice much more noticeable than it had been just a second ago. “They went to Knowhere knowing it was going to be hard or impossible to do and I don’t know what happened there but they obviously lost.I can picture a thousand horrible ways he could have defeated them but I’ll never know for sure what happened.If I had been there with them though, would it have gone differently?” New guilt flooded through Thor as he realized how the train of thinking he had encouraged was hurting his friend.

“No, what happened on Knowhere was not your fault, Rabbit,” Thor assured him as fast as he could. “He is just-“

Rocket looked him dead in the eyes again and Thor fell silent. “How is that any different from what you just did?How come you can tell me I didn’t fail to protect them when I was scared and left with you but tell yourself the entire Snap was your fault because you didn’t aim high enough in a high stakes moment?” Rocket’s voice quavered and shame filled Thor’s throat, killing anything he was going to say in return. “You’re lying to someone.So who is it?” He hadn’t known fear played a part in Rocket and Tree accompanying him to Nidavilier but obviously this was something Rocket had been thinking about.That guilt was surely affecting him heavily and Thor hadn’t known about it until now which made him feel even worse about bringing this up. 

He knew Rocket was right and there was some relief in finally discussing this with someone, but it was still too hard to accept that his mistake didn’t matter.He should have known better at least.But he hadn’t been lying to Rocket and while he felt a little better than he had, Rocket seemed more worked up than he had when he walked in. “I am sorry, Rabbit.I… I did mean it when I said you should not blame yourself for what happened with the reality stone.” He paused and tried to think of the right thing to say.Rocket studied him hard which didn’t take off any pressure. “Your friends knew what they were getting into better than most when they ventured to Knowhere.And I know I am extremely grateful for your presence with me at Nidavilier since if it were not for you and your pod, I would not have started the forge.And were it not for Tree, I would have died from the star’s power.” At the mention of the _Flora colossus,_ Rocket immediately looked down at his feet.Thor stuck his hand out, stopping just short of his shoulder unsure if it was okay to touch him.Rocket didn’t move away. “And!And I was honored to have you both beside me in the battle that followed.Just as you told me, my smart and noble friend, what happened happened.You were right.We must remain focused on our greater enemy.We will not make the same mistakes next time.”

Rocket sighed and met his encouraging gaze.Thor was happy to see that he looked like he believed him.Thoroughly surprising him though, Rocket leaned forward, past his hovering hand, and rested his head in the center of Thor’s chest.Thor felt honored that he trusted him but sad that his friend was hurting so much and was left so alone that Thor was the only person he could seek comfort from.He was no good at this.They had spent more time comforting Thor today than him and he knew there were more understanding and helpful things he could be saying.Rocket deserved better than him.But if he was all his poor friend had at the moment, he would do his best to be what he needed.He placed his hand gently on Rocket’s back and rubbed it as soothingly as he could.He knew Rocket was crying from the tremors he felt from his back but he didn’t comment on it.It was better to get it out.

“I miss them,” Rocket eventually whimpered into his shirt.That was the root of the issue and it broke Thor’s heart to hear Rocket voice the deepest desire of his heart: just to see his family alive one more time.Thor knew the feeling.He pulled Rocket closer to him which Rocket seemed fine with as he tucked in harder.He knew pain like this could not be erased after one conversation, and knew that Rocket had only just begun to grieve.He also knew that they just weren’t close enough for Thor to fully understand why Rocket felt the way he did.But he wanted to make sure his presence here told Rocket that he wasn’t alone.That he cared about what he was going through and what happened to him.As Rocket’s trembling back and sides slowly went from shaking to quivering to quaking just every now and then, it seemed to be working.

“Everyone can think of something they _should_ have done, Thor,” Rocket croaked weakly after they had sat like that for several minutes and he had calmed down a little more. “I can guarantee all those Avengers in there are blaming themselves, too.But we can’t defeat him that way.We have to make a new plan somehow.I… I gotta fix this.”

Thor patted him on the back. “Then we will.”

Thor wasn’t sure how much longer they sat like that, Rocket pressed into his chest and Thor rubbing circles into his back, before Rocket finally pulled away with a sniff.He looked a tad embarrassed, quickly wiping his hands on his pants and avoiding eye contact but Thor did his best to assure him to think nothing of it with a small smile.

Rocket walked the few feet back over to his stuff and discarded music player and sat down again.He placed the device back on his ears and Thor watched his ears go back and his body curl in on itself as he listened to the song that was playing.No doubt it was full of memories for him and Thor knew little things were often far more painful reminders when in grief than the big things.He was just glad he had been able to provide a little comfort.

“They’re going to meet with Stark and try to work on a plan?” Rocket asked at last. Thor just nodded. “And they want me to be part of it?”

“Rogers asked me to let you know it was happening in case you wanted to be.If you didn’t feel up for it, you do not have to go.But you are welcome if you did.”

Rocket thought about that for such a long time, music still blaring, that Thor thought he wasn’t going to answer.Finally though, Rocket surprised him again by taking the ear-things off, standing up on much sturdier legs, wiping away his remaining tears, and turning to look at him with a fierce glint in his eyes that made him look more like himself than he had all day.Thor felt his face curl into a smile by itself at that little success.

“Then let’s go make a Thanos-stopping plan,” Rocket declared.Thor stood up and Rocket actually followed him.He knew Rocket’s pain hadn’t gone away but now he seemed to have a drive forward which was usually all it took to avoid the dangerous spiral downward.He looked up at Thor and Thor nodded for him to lead the way.Rocket edged his way around the stuff on the floor and made for the stairs. “Let me just grab some better clothes first, okay?”After Thor grunted his approval, Rocket suddenly tossed another curious glance his way. “Say, can I ask you something?”

Thor climbed the stairs after him. “Of course.”

“Is Rogers really just some guy with a shield?” Rocket asked at the top, hands on his hips.Thor chuckled deep in his chest.

“Trust me, that shield can do far more than one would think it could do.As can the man who wields it.”

“But seriously, just a shield?One of the people in there has a suit that lets him fly and fire lasers from his hands and that’s what he brings to the table?” Thor laughed hard and followed Rocket deeper into the ship. 

Grief or no, crisis or no, guilt or no, Thor felt closer to Rocket than anyone else these days.They were both struggling against the dark in their own way and while it was hard, they were getting through it.It seemed like they both just had each other now. 

So for as long as necessary, they’d keep on having each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos, comment, or just reading this thing so far! I've been really enjoying writing this story so I really hope you all are enjoying reading it, too.
> 
> Much longer chap this time round because I tried to bounce the perspective around and look at all three of our main characters, so I hope that works well. This is also our first Nebula pov! Disclaimer, I have never written for her or Pepper before but hopefully I did them justice.
> 
> Finally, there are references to the Endgame script (which surprisingly had a lot of cut Rocket lines!) and an Infinity War deleted scene in here but I don't think you need to have seen or read those to get the story. I just like slipping in the easter eggs.
> 
> Without further ado, part 3!

“Well, that was a disaster,” Rocket declared, his hands dipping further into the _Benatar_ ’s hull. 

Thor chuckled, the meeting they had just finished replaying again in his mind.He may have sat out of most of it but it had… not gone to plan if he had read the room right. “Not a total disaster.We have a target.We have a team.We have a location.And as soon as you get the ship running we’ll have a ride.Our revenge is close at hand, Rabbit.Sounds about right to me.”

“Yeah, but Stark just fell apart at the seams, eh?” Rocket replied with a skeptical look in Thor’s direction. “With the way people were talkin’ about him I thought he’d be kind of important.Turns out he’s a dehydrated lunatic who derailed everything to yell at Rogers about gibberish for ten minutes.Did you get any of what was going on there?”

Thor hummed a bit as he mulled that over. “I wasn’t really paying attention.But Tony has always been a bit of a loose canon.That’s why I liked him.But a lot has happened since last I’ve been on Earth apparently.It appears they have had a falling out of some sort since my departure, which is quite a shame.Having Stark along would have been nice, but he cannot fight in this state.”

Rocket scoffed. “Yeah, I’d say not.” His face disappeared as he climbed further into the ship’s exterior to fiddle with something.Thor knew nothing about ships besides how to dismantle them quickly and brutally so he didn’t bother asking the small genius what he was doing in there. “Just seemed like a big, fat waste of time,” Rocket muttered under his breath, his voice echoing from inside. “Thank goodness they brought the _Benatar_ back or I’d mark this whole ‘hey, let’s go find Tony, he’s still in space’ thing a pointless tangent that distracted us way too long.Sure, it’s nice that he didn’t die in space.But we’ve been rotting here for weeks trying to think up a way to fix everything, he gets back, things quickly get…” The bang of Rocket’s tool stopped and Thor heard a soft sigh.Thor understood and waited for him to finish. “Much, much worse for me.Then, we _finally_ sit down to talk about how to destroy big, purple, and ugly and save the universe and what does this miracle guy everyone’s been looking for do?”

Thor rested his chin on the top of Stormbreaker and stared at the gray building above him containing said “miracle guy.” “Be generally unhelpful?”

“Bingo!” Rocket shouted.The indignant outburst echoed so loud Thor couldn’t help a small smile. “Gets distracted immediately, starts ripping equipment out of himself, yelling at Rogers about something I don’t know or care even a little bit about, and passes right out on the floor.I thought to myself, ‘I put proper pants on for this?’” Thor chuckled again.Rocket groaned a bit and Thor saw him tuck further into the ship.Hearing the hull creak, Thor got up and walked over to where Rocket’s legs stuck out.Now able to see his face, Thor saw Rocket was squeezing under a heavy looking support beam to try and fix part of the engine wedged behind it.He couldn’t get to what he needed to fix and hold it at the same time so Thor sensed what he was about to ask and held the beam up for him.Rocket nodded at him and got back to work on the burnt looking engine.As he did, Thor saw his face darken and Rocket shake his head. “A complete waste of time.I have to pull myself together from losing… losing everyone I’ve ever cared about enough to go to that stupid meeting and he can only focus on old grudges.His ‘armor around the Earth’ would have done and does nothing for my family.What was he doing these last few weeks on the _Benatar_ besides busting it up so bad I have to come in and fix 56% of it?”

Thor shrugged one shoulder. “I agree with you, but everyone responds to a crisis like this in different ways.Stark apparently crumbles a bit and yells at Steve.As you said, we won’t need him for the plan though so I don’t really care what he does now.We do need this ship though and as you brought up, we do have to worry about wasting time.I fear the more time passes, the more _he_ can prepare for our retribution.How much longer until the ship is fixed and we can get going?”

Rocket shot him a glare and threw a small tool at him.It missed by a good foot and he resorted to weakly kicking Thor in the leg making the god smirk.He offhandedly noted that he really only ever smiled or laughed around Rocket these days, however rare they may be even so.Everyone else kept their distance from him or tried to skirt around the hard emotions or subjects of the last couple weeks.Rocket never beat around the bush about much of anything which he supposed was refreshing.Not to mention, his mischief and wit was hilarious, even in these beat down times.

“Don’t push it, Blondie,” Rocket warned but Thor heard the lack of a true bite in his voice. “I gotta fix this whole broken rig by myself.And in case you hadn’t noticed, I want to get up and going as bad or more than you do.I told you earlier … I-I gotta fix this… snap thing.I’m gonna fix this.” Thor _hmmm_ ed his understanding and sympathy. “The sooner the _Benatar_ runs, the sooner we get to do that.But Stark and Nebula blew apart things they really shouldn’t have trying to make her support them longer without knowing what they were doing.So now, I gotta fix the damage they did to her on Titan _and_ the damage they did to keep life support running.If you all don’t wanna suffocate or explode in the depths of space, you gotta let me do this.Okay, Romanov?”

Thor blinked in surprise before looking behind him and seeing that sure enough, Natasha had started to walk towards them.He briefly admired his friend’s heightened senses.She looked away embarrassed at being called out on coming over to rush or micromanage Rocket and gave them a curt nod.She made eye contact with Thor and he saw her searching for something in his face.He wasn’t sure if she found it or not as he stared back at her but after another long second, she turned on her heel and walked back to the compound.

“They are like you and me, Rabbit,” Thor grunted as he struggled against the beam so Rocket could get further under it.It was strenuous to hold it this high but Rocket’s little fingers flew a mile a minute on the device. “They are restless and eager to get this done.Yet, they can’t do anything about it like you can.It is driving them crazy to wait now that what they seek suddenly seems so close.”

Rocket didn’t respond right away, finishing the piece he was working on which let out a loud _buzzzz_ as it whirred up and started working.The soft blue glow it gave off illuminated the light scratches working on the ship had made across Rocket’s face and his furrowed brow. “Well, they’ll have to be patient.If I had to suffer through the last two days of waiting for a guy I didn’t care about _and_ have to suffer through the billions of memories every part of this ship puts me through while I go around fixing it, they can freakin’ wait until I say we’re ready.And as much as I want to get to him, I’m not gonna rush it and have us get so close only to crash, blow up, tear apart, or get sucked into space.We’re doing this my way now.”

“Lucky I like your way then,” Thor said with a smirk as he helped Rocket out of the hull.Rocket brushed his hands off on his pant leg and pulled up the projection of his list.He wrote some things down, checked other things off, and began looking at a small schematic of what he planned on doing next.Thor leaned on Stormbreaker and glanced at the compound again. “Are you sure the blue lady, Nebula, cannot help you fix this?”

Rocket’s ears went down and his teeth gritted at the sound of her name but he didn’t stop working on his screen. “I told you, she’s part of the reason this thing is so busted.Trust me, crashing and wrecking tech is her specialty.I don’t need her or anyone getting in my way.Rogers tried to have Banner, Rhodey, Danvers, or Stark help me too but I said the same thing.Nobody is getting in my way and mucking up my ship.I don’t want any of these losers in my ship any longer than necessary.” From his protective tone, Thor guessed the real reason for Rocket’s resistance to any help.He had just gotten his home back and was grieving his fellow roommates who were supposed to be in it.Thor imagined strangers stomping through this now special place that was made all the more sacred by the belongings inside- all Rocket had left of his friends now- would be a nightmare for his mourning friend.

“Have you eaten yet today, Rabbit?” Thor changed the subject.

“What?” Rocket replied, not looking up from his display.

“Have you eaten today?”

“Uh… No.I don’t think so.Okay, next on the list is the fuel cells I was working on earlier.They’re not too rough but there’s quite a few of th-“ Rocket was cut off as Thor stepped in front of him.Rocket shot him an irritated look but Thor’s face remained stoic.

“Food first.”

Rocket’s mouth fell open and aggravation balled his hands into fists. “Hey, you’re the one who was just talking about us being in a hurry!Look at all I’ve gotta do!”

Thor didn’t budge. “And you’re the one who said you weren’t going to rush it; you were going to do it right.”

“I said I was gonna do it my way,” Rocket muttered.Thor raised an eyebrow and Rocket groaned loudly.He began stomping towards the ramp into the interior of the ship, grumbling the whole way, and Thor nodded satisfied. “Fine.But I’m makin’ it quick.I gotta lot of crap to pull together and you’re just lucky I let you stick around to watch, pretty boy.Push your luck and I’ll kick you right out.”

Thor smiled, not believing him for a second.

* * *

Nebula watched Tony’s heart monitor go up and down through the window across the room.Her advanced senses made the distance meaningless and she could faintly hear it beeping as well.He was weak but she knew he’d recover which was far better prospects for him than the ones on the ship just yesterday.

She wasn’t sure why she cared.Why she had been sitting here just staring at him since the meeting had finished several hours ago and they had located her father. 

Perhaps it was because he had been a fool and torn out the machinery helping to heal him during the meeting and she wanted to make sure he didn’t die because of it. 

Perhaps it was because she wanted to see how these people he had told her about reacted and make sure they actually took care of him somewhat capably. 

Perhaps it was because he had treated her companionably on their journey here and she wanted to be there to help if his condition worsened. 

Perhaps he was the only one she actually felt like she knew here and it felt pointless to wander where she wasn’t wanted. 

Or perhaps the thought of tracking down and trying to stop her father again made her reluctant to waste her time and resources pacing like a caged animal when she could be thinking of ways to exact her revenge and finally defeat him.

She sighed- a buzzing, whirring sound because of her electronically enhanced vocal cords- and rested her head against the window to her right.Nebula thought through every scenario down to the most minute detail but she couldn’t bring herself to believe this mission would be any different than every other time she had hunted her father.She’d chase the monstrous dog who tortured her for years halfway across the galaxy- using all her techniques, all her skills, all her training- only to lose.Only to have something else torn from her and be back at square one all over again like always.An endless cycle where her father shrugged her off like nothing but, as it always had been, she could focus on nothing but him.

Right now, her father had completed his mission and was sitting alone and successful in the Garden where he had always told her he’d be.She knew where he was but it felt the same as every other time.Every one of her losses took more from her while he gained.Over her last few encounters with him, he’d bested her, used her pain to get the soul stone location out of her sister, killed her sister, bested her again on Titan, and then obliterated half of all life just as he’d promised. 

Some people in the universe always seemed to lose, like her. 

Some people in the universe always seemed to win.And her father was definitely one of those people.

She would still hunt her father, that was for sure.She would hunt him to the Garden just as she had always hunted him.But this time, she truly had nothing else to lose and everything to gain.And if she won, he would finally be ripped apart at her hands, feeling the pain he’d exacted on her and Gamora in horrible detail, until he was good and dead at last.The mission the others had talked about to bring back those who’d died in the Snap was not for her.That would not bring back her sister so it meant more to her for the pain it would bring her father to see his work unraveled.Yet, finally killing him, finally being free, seemed even more impossible now that he had gained everything he’d wanted and she’d lost so much already that it was hard to even imagine how to do it. 

The battle strategies flew through her head, each more unlikely than the last, until she gave it up with a growl.Strategy had never been her forte.Never served her anything.She’d go to the Garden intent only on killing him and she’d either do it or fail.There was no point in a plan.She was either ready or she wasn’t.Her father could not be outmaneuvered, only bested by a more powerful foe. 

She hoped her hatred made her powerful enough.

She focused on the view outside the window that she had been absentmindedly staring at without seeing for the last few minutes.The fox Gamora had hung out with for the last four years was outside messing with the ship again.She watched him bring a specially-fitted mask down over his face and send bright blue sparks flying as he fused something to the top of the engines.The sooner he fixed the ship, the sooner she could destroy her father but he was taking forever.That idiot with the axe had been trailing his heels like a big dog all day after the outburst on the lawn last night but he wasn’t with him now.Nebula vaguely remembered seeing him go back to that box of a room he stayed in after he used his apparently unending electricity to jumpstart one of the ship batteries.Now it was just the fox, taking even longer now without the god.She could understand Rocket’s rage at her father for all he had taken from him, but his messy anguish and shouting at her about it yesterday seemed beyond pointless.He knew none of the people around him well and yet he had collapsed into a puddle in front of them all just like that, completely exposing his weakness to them if they had been any threat.That went against all she’d ever been taught and while she knew it was her father’s voice in her that made it so, the display disgusted her.Her father would have squashed him on the spot for such a scene.Grief was something one kept from their enemies, and your enemy could be anyone.

Going outside to tell him to hurry up crossed her mind for a moment, but she figured his tendency to turn to his beloved firearms when his emotions got away from him likely hadn’t gone away and Nebula didn’t feel like fixing any of her parts today.Not to mention, she was still keeping watch.

She directed her attention back to Tony’s room and saw some movement in there now.“Rhodey”- as he had introduced himself- had gotten up and was now talking to the woman who had run up the ramp when they had first landed.Pepper, Nebula thought she had heard Tony call her.Pepper was listening to Rhodey behind the glass with a calculating look on her face that almost reminded Nebula of the regal way her sister would sometimes hold herself when she was thinking over all her options.While the memory stung, her opinion of Pepper increased for it.Strength in this building and around it seemed to be in short supply.

After about a minute or so, Pepper looked down at Tony for a long while before turning back to Rhodey and nodding.He moved around her to sit next to the unconscious man where Pepper had been and to Nebula’s surprise, Pepper opened the door and left the room. 

Nebula didn’t even try to conceal the fact that she had been staring at them but it ended up not mattering.Pepper shut the door gently behind her and shut her eyes with a sigh.Nebula was used to analyzing everyone she met for physical quirks and signals she could use in a fight, so the tiredness and underlying anxiety wafting off Pepper was extremely clear to her even from across the room.When Pepper opened her eyes again, the layers of exhaustion and stress slipped under a mask of composure she put on so quick it had to be frequent thing and left the doorway. 

As she did, her eyes crossed the room and met Nebula’s for the first time.She jumped a bit- as Nebula expected her to given that she was just sitting in the dark since lights weren’t exactly necessary for her- but Pepper’s blue human eyes didn’t crinkle with disgust, or show fear, or display any hostility at all really which Nebula hadn’t expected.In fact, to her surprise, Pepper smiled a little and started walking towards her.Nebula stiffened immediately without meaning to.

“You’re Nebula, right?” Pepper asked when she got a respectable- not too close as to make Nebula uncomfortable, not too far which kept their conversation private- distance away.

Nebula studied her face but didn’t change her rather closed off pose or unreadable expression.Old habit. “Yes,” She finally whispered.It was another test since her gravelly voice was often the next thing that threw people off.If it bothered Pepper any, nothing about her expression or posture gave it away.

“I thought so,” Pepper replied politely.She gestured back at the room. “Tony talked about you a bit when he was awake.” Nebula couldn’t hide her slight surprise.The fact that her presence or anything she’d done with him on the ship had been noteworthy enough to talk to about with this woman he held in such high esteem struck her for some reason.Their time on the ship might have been Nebula’s longest peaceful interaction with another person ever but it clearly wasn’t his.Somehow she had made an impact even so.Go figure.

“I wanted to thank you for bringing him here with you,” Pepper continued. “From what he told me, it sounded like you didn’t really have a reason to bring him with you but if you hadn’t, he would probably still be stranded on Titan.And it sounded like he really needed your help with the wound in his chest, too, or he would have been in even worse shape.And it sounded like you didn’t really have a reason to come towards Earth at all besides him but you did anyway.Needless to say, you’ve done a lot for him these last few weeks and I appreciate it.We both do, of course, but I wanted to make sure you knew how grateful _I_ am because I was so sure I’d lost him before you arrived.I would have if it wasn’t for you, so I can’t thank you enough for all you did.”

Nebula sat in shock for a moment as that sunk in.She was grateful to _her._ She considered her the reason Tony was alive.While Nebula wasn’t sure if that was true or not, it was so outside her normal that she didn’t really have a way to process it.How does one respond to that?Was this what Gamora and her bunch of weird friends got when they went off “saving the galaxy?” Finally, she cleared her throat a little and let her arms unfold uncomfortably. “You’re welcome.”

Smooth, Nebula.Smooth.

Pepper smiled though and just stood there for a few minutes.It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence surprisingly; they were both just lost in their thoughts.Nebula couldn’t seem to figure her out.She seemed open and friendly enough, but her moment by the door revealed that there was a lot going on underneath and out of view.Nebula wondered how much she had lost or been afraid of losing. 

Pepper glanced back at where Nebula could still see Tony resting in the softly lit room before meeting her eyes again. “Have you been keeping an eye on him, too?” She asked.Nebula looked away but nodded.Pepper thought about that before, to Nebula’s surprise again, she pointed to a chair a little to her left asking for permission to sit down.Nebula hesitated, the idea of her sitting beside her implying a continuation of this conversation and a closeness she wasn’t sure if she was ready for, but she eventually nodded her acceptance. “May I ask you something?”

“It depends what it is,” Nebula replied honestly.She wouldn’t open up if she didn’t want to and Pepper seemed to understand that answer.

“Why did you bring Tony along after Titan?You didn’t know each other and didn’t have to.It seems like you two got along okay on the ship coming here and Tony didn’t have to say it for me to see he enjoyed having someone else with him after everything that had happened, but you had to board the ship as strangers.It’s kind of a personal question, I know, so you don’t have to answer.But in our lives, Tony has met and fought and encountered and just seems to attract a lot of people with reasons for doing things that we have no idea about until things all fall apart.I’m not saying you have an ulterior motive for helping him because as I’ve said, you didn’t have to and I’m grateful you did.But I don’t know what happened while Tony was up there.I know you fought Thanos, that he lost… the kid, but I don’t know what really went down.Why did you stick together after all that?”

Nebula was quiet for a very long time as she thought through how to answer that and whether she wanted to.It was a lot to ask a stranger and they _were_ strangers.Yet, these were very strange times where people- like her and Tony, like her and Pepper now- seemed to bond easier and quicker over the tiniest things because it was all they had.It was all anyone had. “After my father succeeded in using the infinity stones, Tony and I were the only survivors on Titan,” She began slowly.She could see Pepper out of the corner of her eye hanging on every word. “Seven of us fought my father on Titan, but only the two of us avoided the destruction of half of all life that followed.Tony spent a long time recovering from his wounds and the loss of the kid you mentioned enough to really focus on what _we_ should do next.He said ‘we’ immediately and I didn’t question it.The ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’- as the group my sister, Rocket, and three of the ones who had fought with us on Titan were a part of was called- had arrived on Titan in the ship out there.They had no need of it since they no longer existed and it was the only way we could escape the planet.Once I found it, Tony instantly talked about how he needed to get back to Earth.When he asked me if the ship could take him there, I said maybe and that was that.There was no point in arguing and no point in leaving him there.When a destination needed picking, Earth was the option we chose.”

“Didn’t you have somewhere else you needed to go?” Pepper asked.Her voice was cautious because, as she had said, these were personal questions.

Nebula turned her head a bit to look at her. “My only goal in life is to hunt down my father and kill him.After he killed my sister on Vormir, that threw out the only other thing I would have done which was look for her.My father came to Earth to look for the stones and succeeded in finding them.While I assumed he would no longer be here, it was a place to start in my quest to find him again.Sidetracking from my hunt to bring Tony here wasn’t a complete distraction from my end goal.”

Pepper studied her face but she didn’t make Nebula feel judged or put her on guard.In fact, she was a surprisingly good listener.Nebula didn’t feel listened to very often so it felt a bit strange to get it from this stranger.Perhaps that’s why Tony, who loved talking, loved Pepper so much. “I’m sorry about your sister.I might not have known her, but I really am sorry.He took people away from so many people, but to do that to you and her has to be especially hard to deal with.I know we don’t know each other, but if you need anything that might make you more comfortable while you’re here, just let me know and I’ll get it for you.”

“What I need is to kill my father.Which I can’t do until that stupid fox fixes the ship,” She fumed, casting a glare at the window overlooking the lawn.

“Isn’t he a raccoon?” Pepper questioned but Nebula didn’t bother replying. 

They sat in silence for a long while until Pepper searched through her bag and pulled out a set of keys.When she looked back at Nebula, Nebula saw a mischievous spark in her eyes that she hadn’t expected.Somehow, this woman kept surprising her. “I know you’re eager to get going, but for the last eight years we’ve had a tradition that always manages to cheer someone up when they’re hurting.It’s kind of silly, but I’m going to go get Tony some cheeseburgers if a place we used to go to down the street is open.Sitting here staring at Tony isn’t going to make him wake up any faster, as Rhodey told me a second ago, and staring at Rocket as he fixes the ship won’t make him go any faster either.So, you’re welcome to come get the burgers with me instead if you want to.”

Nebula stared at her hard wondering why Pepper would ever want her to accompany her on this “burger” gathering mission.She hardly knew Nebula.The only thing they had to join them in any way was a connection with Tony who they would be actively going further away from.Nebula had no idea how this would be done, but a journey outside of the compound seemed to be required and if they had nothing to talk about or if either of them said something they shouldn’t have, this could get awkward very quickly.However, Nebula found Pepper interesting at least and she seemed to be fairly smart and capable based on Tony’s high opinion of her and what she’d seen, so that instantly made her better company than most of the people here.And at least she didn’t look at Nebula like she was a bomb about to go off.

And, truth be told, she was a bit curious about what this burger thing was.

“I’m in.”

* * *

Nebula liked these “cars” more than she thought she would.They were simple enough to understand and simple enough for all these simple-minded humans to actually pilot.They weren’t spaceships and had maddening limitations- like being restricted to just the ground, not sky or water- but it went fast and she liked that.

“So where are its weapons?” She asked.

Pepper’s brow furrowed as she stopped at another one of those lights that changed color.Why couldn’t they just stay one color so they could drive the whole time rather than all this stopping? “Umm… it doesn’t have any weapons?” She replied. “Maybe Tony has a car with weapons on it.I wouldn’t put it past him.But most cars don’t need any so they don’t have any.”

“Seems like setting oneself up for disaster,” Nebula scoffed. “The person who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.”

Pepper raised her eyebrows but didn’t disagree with her as they got going again.They had been driving for about five minutes so far, the road winding and weaving through the Terran woods.The planet’s star was sinking closer to the horizon, bathing the trees, road, and sky with bright golden light and an assortment of pinks, reds, and oranges.It reminded Nebula of an explosion in slow motion and she smiled just a little.The beauty of it seemed out of place with everything going on.Contradictory.

She was reminded suddenly of how her father liked sunsets and would often wait for them after murdering half of a planet’s life.That stole her enjoyment of this one away real quick.

“How fast does it go?” She interrogated Pepper again in an effort to stop thinking about her father soaked in innocent blood.

“Well, this one can go about 200 miles per hour,” At Nebula’s confused expression Pepper seemed to recognize that that metric meant nothing to her. “Really fast.A lot more like the speed of a plane in the sky than something on the ground.Some cars can go even faster than that but, again, most cars don’t need to go that fast so they don’t.”

Nebula side-eyed the landscape going by out the window. “You do realize we’re practically crawling across the ground right now.Do not try to fool me; if this is your ‘200 miles per hour’ it is not ‘really fast.’”

Startling her a little, Pepper laughed. “We’re not going 200 miles per hour right now.More like 45.That’s the speed limit on this road.”

Nebula made a face. “Why would they limit the speed?Is the goal not to get to the destination faster?”

“Well, if people crash at that speed they could really hurt themselves or other people,” Pepper explained slowly. “So they try to make sure people don’t go too fast where there are lots of other people around… or were lots of other people around.In this case.”

“That’s idiotic,” Nebula declared and Pepper raised one eyebrow. “Why build a vehicle capable of traveling at that speed if people aren’t supposed to go that speed.Ridiculous.”

Pepper smiled but didn’t argue.Nebula wasn’t sure what Pepper thought about her, but thus far the attitude in the car hadn’t become awkward or tense yet which was better than she could say for her interactions with most people.She shifted a bit in the surprisingly comfortable copilot seat so she could look out the window better.She knew the neon blue lights of the instrument panel were casting weird shapes and reflections across her metallic face as they mingled with the sunlight but for once she didn’t really mind how it looked.She would be alien-looking here no matter what color reflected on her face.And she liked blue.

After about ten more minutes of driving, Pepper pulled the car into an empty lot containing one small building.The glowing signs around it said “Burger King” in obnoxious letters and Nebula scrunched up her nose at the greasy smell already pouring into the car.As Pepper drove the car closer to the building and rolled down her window, the smell got even worse.

They rolled until they were right up beside a brightly colored box sitting next to a display panel full of pictures and writing Nebula didn’t care enough to decipher.The pictures looked like… food?Maybe?

“Hi.Are you here to order?” A voice suddenly said seemingly from nowhere.Nebula jumped a foot in the air, smacking her head on the roof of her car, and drew the sword she had tucked into her boot.Pepper gasped as she noticed Nebula’s new weapon at the ready to kill this mysterious person.

“Yes!Yes, we’re here to order!” Pepper answered the voice, trying to push Nebula’s sword down and away from the window.

Nebula looked at her suspiciously. “Where is that coming from?Why is he such a coward that he does not show himself to us?”

Pepper finally succeeded in getting her to put the sword down and shot her a look.Nebula was impressed by her ability to do so somewhat capably despite her intimidating and stoic stare in return. “It’s just a speaker.We’ll see him in a second, I promise.He’s just in the kitchen and needs to get our order from out here.There’s nothing to worry about so you can put that away.”

“Best to be ready.Just in case,” She countered.The sword went into her lap though and Pepper seemed to accept that that was the best she was going to get with a sigh.

“Whenever you’re ready,” The voice said again and Nebula only stiffened a little this time.

“Okay, we’ll get two double quarter pound kings please,” Pepper ordered to the box. “And I’ll have two whoppers with cheese and some onion rings please.Do you want one?” Upon turning to her, Nebula froze up completely.She was still trying to unravel what the heck these gibberish sentences meant.How can you have double and a quarter of anything?Which was it?Did she want one?She didn’t even know what it was.Yet, this was the purpose of their mission.After taking about a minute to think about it, she finally opened her mouth to answer but couldn’t quick enough as Pepper suddenly turned and spoke to the box again. “And one classic cheeseburger.Thank you.”

The voice gave an answer of some kind but Nebula couldn’t make it out and before she knew it, they were moving again.Pepper glanced over at her sheepishly and tried to stifle a laugh at Nebula’s icy gaze. “I was about to answer your question,” Nebula stated matter of factly.

Pepper chuckled before quickly stopping herself. “This- this is your first time on Earth.You have to have one.I shouldn’t have even asked really because even if you didn’t eat it someone would.But you should!Trust me, this is a very big thing here on Earth.”

Nebula wasn’t sure about that but didn’t protest anymore than a small huff as she settled further into her seat.In no time, they had reached a hole in the side of the building where a man was standing there waiting for them.He and Nebula stared at each other cautiously, neither quite sure what to make of the other, as Pepper rifled through the bag she’d pulled the keys from.The man in the box was not quite what she had expected.

After handing him some kind of currency, he handed Pepper a bag and the smell in the car reached critical levels.As she placed it beside Nebula, Nebula tried to decide whether it was a bad smell or just a powerful one and came up inconclusive.With a final closing exchange, Pepper drove them to a vacant spot in the lot and stopped the car.

“I know we have to get back,” Pepper began as she started opening the bag and pulling out smaller boxes.Nebula stared at the colorful packages with wide, inquisitive eyes. “But I’m starving and I want to see you eat yours.If you decide to of course, but I’d imagine you’re hungry after everything you’ve been through today.”She handed Nebula a shiny red package and gingerly, hesitantly, she took it.It felt weird in her hands, the package itself smooth but the bottom very warm and almost sticky.She watched as Pepper opened her own and uncovered some kind of… sandwich she supposed?She vaguely remembered someone in a strange backwater market on one of the hundreds of planets she’d been to calling this kind of stacked food that.It seemed rather ridiculous to just place different foods on top of each other when cooking them all together to make one flavor already existed.She opened her own package and intensely stared at the sandwich inside as though trying to force its secrets out of it.

She watched as Pepper lifted the food out of her container and bit into it without a second thought.The crunch was somewhat satisfying she admitted but the gloop of ingredients that threatened to spill everywhere made her scrunch up her face in disgust again.The meat of mysterious origin underneath the other layers was coated in a shiny layer of grease that made Nebula’s stomach crawl.However, she hadn’t eaten in quite some time and that was making her stomach turn as well.

Pepper looked over at her and swallowed her bite. “Are you going to try it?”

Nebula analyzed her meal one more time before finally accepting defeat and picking the “burger” up.It squished unappetizingly underneath her long metal fingers and some bright yellow liquid squirted onto the silver of her palm. “Fine.” She relented and bit into the burger with voracious intent.It was, honestly, not half bad.The variety of flavors as they all passed her tongue actually worked well together and she was almost impressed.It was not unlike some of the meats she remembered eating in shops on more urban planets where they had to make things flavorful quicker.She took a second bite without even thinking about it and saw Pepper staring at her expectantly.

“Do you like it?” She asked.

Nebula’s now reactivated hunger made her stomach growl like a beast under a planet’s surface and she tore into the burger again.It was already almost half gone. “It’s sufficient,” She mumbled between bites and Pepper looked satisfied. “Does the monarch make all the… burgers… himself?” Pepper’s brow furrowed and she looked lost.Nebula pointed at the sign in front of them. “This… Burger King?Does he make them himself?”

Pepper looked between her and the sign three times before realization set in.Nebula tried to hide her hurt as Pepper started laughing so long and hard that she had to cover her mouth to keep the food she was eating inside.She glanced back up at her as she wiped a tear from her eye and upon noticing her expression tried to compose herself. “No, no,” She managed to say at last. “That’s just the name.The people in there are just people.There’s no royalty making the burgers.”

Nebula’s visible disappointment seemed to give Pepper the giggles again and it was such a nice sound after all the doom-and-gloom in the compound and the ship lately that Nebula even smiled a little, too. 

Nebula finished her burger much sooner than she expected and was left wanting more.Despite having not known about it before about a minute ago, it was one of the better things she’d eaten in easily three or four months and her insides moaned their rage at it being gone already.Shocking her again, Pepper pushed one of the other packages in her direction. “You can have this one too if you want,” She offered. “I have onion rings too so I’m good.”

The box sat there invitingly but Nebula hesitated and studied Pepper’s face.The other woman just went back to her new weird food without any further explanation and Nebula’s mind kicked into overdrive.Was this a test?Would she not fight for her claim to the food?Would she snap at her for being so foolish as to accept her offer without being sure she meant it and take it back?Why would she just give it to her?What was her reasoning?What did she want from her?

The reservations still loomed large in her mind but her hunger loomed larger.Carefully, she slipped her hand up on top of the box and slid it towards herself an inch at a time.She watched Pepper’s face the whole time but she didn’t make any moves toward her.When Nebula opened it and began to eat, she didn’t protest to that either.So weird. “Thank you,” Nebula finally whispered.

After they had both finished, Pepper packed away their used wrappers and containers and repackaged the bag full of boxes for Tony.Nebula felt satisfied and content and comfortable for the first time in a very long time.She was still itching for her revenge and grieving her sister’s pointless death but this had also been a pleasant- if frivolous- distraction.She was genuinely glad she came.

“Did you drive the spaceship you and Tony came in on?” Pepper asked as she started the car back up.

“Yes,” Nebula replied. “Despite what Rocket says and how it may look, it’s not hard.I’ve driven dozens of vehicles after all.”

“Are they similar to cars?I mean planes are pretty different from cars and our rockets are definitely different.”

“They are not so different,” She thought aloud, studying the mechanics of the car’s wheel and instrument panel. “Far more complicated but generally the same.”

Pepper thought about that for a long moment before that mischievous glint from earlier came to her eyes again.Nebula leaned in a little closer before she could stop herself. “Do… do you want to try driving the car back to the compound?You don’t have to but I saw you staring at all the parts while I drove here and figured you were trying to figure out how it works.There’s way less people on the road nowadays so it’s probably safe for you to take the little time you need to figure it out.”

Nebula stared at her with searching eyes, trying to deduce whether this was another test.Why did she trust her so much?Why was she being so nice to her?The open way she looked back at her set her anxieties at ease and the thought of driving actually excited her.She wanted to get the vehicle going.She wanted to do something other than just sit around.That might be… nice.

“I would like that,” She said with a nod.Pepper smiled and they switched places.Pepper tried to give Nebula a quick overview of the car after Nebula settled into the seat but she wasn’t really paying attention.The feel of the wheel, the pedal to add speed or slow down, the bright, inviting lights from the speed panel seemed to urge her on.A smile spread across her face before she could try to hide it.

“Do you know how to get back to the compound?” Pepper finished.

Nebula backed the vehicle up until the road back was in front of her again.Her smirk grew as she shifted the car into drive.

“I have a literally photographic memory,” She assured. “I know exactly how to get back there.”

“Okay then,” Pepper relented. “Just remember those limit signs I told you about.”

Her long pause made Pepper turn to her.

“Okay?”

Nebula smirked again and tightened her grip on the wheel.

“Nebula?”

“Hold on.”

Pepper’s surprised scream as Nebula slammed her foot against the pedal and the jolt of the car picking up speed made the whole journey more than worth it.

* * *

Rocket grunted hard, his breath coming in gasps, as he struggled to pull the switch into position. “Come on, baby.Come on!” It stubbornly resisted as he threw all his meager strength behind it.His exhausted body screamed its resistance and he pulled even harder against it before finally, _finally_ , the switch flew into position.The sudden spring-back tossed Rocket onto the floor and his sides and arms burned on impact.

But the sound he’d been waiting for made it all worthwhile.

The beautiful hum of the _Benatar_ ’s engine, computers, life support, and batteries all kicking on and starting up brought an enormous smile to his face for the first time since fighting in Wakanda.Rocket closed his eyes for a moment as his ears flicked forward to take in the sound.When he reopened his eyes, all the ship lights he had missed so much clicked on and cast everything in a lovely, pale white glow.It was like truly coming home now.While it definitely hurt that it looked just like how he had left it - the memories of standing in each passageway in this exact lighting with each member of his family a thousand different times stinging like a hundred new wounds- his euphoria at having fixed it overshadowed that for now.

“I did it!” He shouted, laughing like a maniac and running through the corridors and through the main room without even caring about how crazy he must have looked.He tossed his tools down next to the wall on his right before he ran down the ramp and stopped to look up at her in all her glory.

She gleamed and shined again as the lights from inside and from her revved up engines made the whole lawn look much brighter.She was beat up still, but she was in one piece again and everything was sounding and looking the way it should.Her bright colors and gentle whirring gave off a smug “about time” vibe that Rocket fondly remembered from past fix-ups.He laughed at the sky again.

He had pulled her together at last!Now they could really get going.Now there was nothing stopping him from destroying Thanos and bringing back everything he’d taken from him!

He sprinted for the doors to the compound, his legs feeling far too slow for how badly he wanted to get there.As soon as he banged them open, the few Avengers still in the main room at this late hour jumped into battle-ready positions on instinct.Even Thor inside his glass room looked up and reached towards Stormbreaker despite the distance separating them.When he locked eyes with Rocket though, the ghost of a hopeful smile crossed his face and his eyes widened.

“Rocket,” Romanov gasped, looking relieved and then cautious. “What is it?”

Rocket looked from Romanov to Banner to Thor and his grin grew a little bit wider. “I did it,” He announced.He couldn’t conceal his pride as he said it. “I fixed her and she’s good to go.”

Rogers stood up from the corner. “Are you sure?” Rocket nodded. “When could she be ready to leave?”

“Whenever you are, in theory,” He replied. “I’d like to clean up a bit before all you goons start stumblin’ around in there and double check the fuel cells now that they’ve been warmed up for a while, but when you guys are ready, so are we.”

Before Rogers could answer, Thor came out of his room Stormbreaker in hand. “Wonderful.Let us leave immediately,” He commanded, starting to walk past Rocket.As he did, he winked at him and Rocket couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Now hold on, Thor,” Banner began. “We-“

“I have been ‘holding on’ for weeks but no longer,” Thor interrupted. “Rabbit says we are ready now so I say we go.What have we been doing while we wait if not getting ready?”

Rogers stopped him now with a look and a hand on Thor’s shoulder.Thor looked more annoyed than Rocket had ever seen him. “Rocket said he’d like some time to get it ready for all of us to get in there and there are people getting some rest as we speak.Let’s get everyone ready in the compound, make sure we all know the plan, and meet Rocket in the _Benatar_ in an hour.Does that sound alright to you, Rocket?”

“Sounds like a plan, fellow captain,” Rocket shot back and Thor let out a soft groan of disappointment that Rocket knew only his perceptive ears could hear.

“Alright then.Departure time is in 0100 hours,” Cap declared and Banner and Romanov immediately left the room to make sure everyone else knew about it.As Rocket turned to head back to the ship, Rogers nodded at him. “Thank you, Rocket.I know you were under a lot of time pressure and had a lot to do as fast as you could.I appreciate your hard work and you agreeing to take us in your ship.”

Rocket had been trying to avoid the thought of them all piled into his ship where his friends were supposed to be but he pushed it aside for now. “Hey, I can’t defeat Thanos on my own as much as I might want to and you misfits want your shot at him as much as I do.I would hate to get between Sparky here and his goal,” Thor smiled faintly at the nickname. “I’m not sure if eight heads are better than one, but eight fists definitely are.You can pay me back by helping me fix this and tear this purple piece of crap apart as soon as we get there.”

Rogers nodded again and Rocket left the compound.The _Benatar_ was still glowing starkly against the deep blue night sky and Rocket felt his spirits rise and his heart sink at the same time.They were going to go to the “Garden” and set this right.They had to.And the _Benatar_ was now primed and ready to get them there.However, seeing it like this reminded him of the thousands of times he had left a planet with the Guardians.Seeing it whole and functioning again reminded him of the last time he’d seen it like this from the pod as he’d taken off for Nidavilier with Thor and Groot.The dagger of loss and loneliness dug deeper into him now that he didn’t have work to distract himself with and could longingly trace the shape and details of the ship and get lost in all the memories she brought to the surface. 

He wanted to jump back to when his family filled these hallways with bickering and laughter and whispers and music so badly that it made his stomach feel like it was tearing itself apart.He could hear them and see them right here so clearly in his mind and could actually smell them as he walked past the walls.It felt like he’d turn a corner any second and they’d be there.Like he’d be working on something and Quill would just stick his head in to ask him something.Like Mantis and Drax would suddenly enter and demand he listen to a joke only they would get that takes five minutes to explain until he has to chase them off.Like he would just feel Groot weaving his wooden fingers or stump of a foot through his tail absentmindedly as he played that dumb game of his.Or like Gamora would throw something in front of him in order to confront him about a weapon he probably left lying around on purpose or ask him to fix for her.He wanted it to happen so bad and it hurt more because it felt like it was only just out of his reach.

He stopped and looked around the center space of the ship.Where they’d had a thousand meals.Where he’d built a thousand weapons or machines or games for Groot or fuel cells for the ship or speakers for Quill.Where Drax had told his favorite bar fight story and made Rocket laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe for a solid minute.Where Groot had learned to construct his first bomb and smiled at him so wide Rocket had been able to see every one of his tiny bark teeth.Where he had watched knowingly as Gamora and Quill had danced their first real, long-term, song-to-song dance.Where they’d all celebrated knowing each other for one year, and then two, and then three.Where Mantis had let him braid her hair when he couldn’t focus on a machine but needed something to fidget with.Where he’d cried into Quill’s shoulder drunk one night when the implants in his shoulders and back ached so much from the fight that day that sleep or thinking about anything else was impossible.Where Gamora had trusted him enough to tell him what Thanos had done to her as they ate the brownies they promised they would save for the others.Where all their arguments had been before they stormed off.Where all their dance fights had been before they laughed too hard to remember what started it.Where he felt most heard.Where he felt most safe.Where he felt most loved.

Now empty.Now full of ghosts.Now gone.All gone.All gone!

He screamed and kicked a box as hard as he could.

Rocket sniffed and wiped his eyes, not knowing when the tears had started but knowing it had been going on for a while from the steady streaks of them he felt in his fur.This wasn’t the time for this.He had to focus.They were going to go get Thanos and fix this; he couldn’t break down again now.But the ache in his chest couldn’t be silenced so easily.Every glance around the room was like his perfect torture.He wanted them back so badly.He would take another 100 days in the lab, the place he feared above all else, being torn apart and put back together over and over just to have his family back.He had to fix this.He had to.

Trying to pull himself together with that mantra in his head, he started moving things out of the main room and into the other rooms.He couldn’t bring himself to open the other Guardians’ bedrooms- that would hurt way too much- so he mostly stacked things down in the engine room, in the kitchen, or in his room somewhere.The stuff was mostly things Nebula and Stark had moved around so they weren’t quite as sentimental as they could have been, but there were definitely still things that made him pause.He found Quill’s favorite old shirt with the candy logo on it and one of Drax’s favorite knives right on the floor where anybody- like him- could stub their foot on it just like always.He uncovered one of Groot’s old notebooks full of drawings he and Mantis had made with a couple quick sketches made by Gamora in the margins.He found one of the coats they’d forced him into when they’d traveled to that freezing planet he had hated so much because Drax always laughed at how much bigger the coat made him look.Running his hands over these treasured objects made him even more glad that he was doing this despite the pain it brought him.If any of the Avengers even accidentally stepped on Quill’s shirt or messed up one of Groot’s drawings he would probably have to kill them on principle.At least if everything was out of the way he could control what these strangers in his space got to touch.How much of his world they got to see.

Rocket moved to the cockpit and ignored the way his stomach dropped.The six empty seats felt like a mockery but he pushed it aside and started getting them ready to go.This area was obviously where Nebula and Stark had spent most of their time so it wasn’t too hard to get it cleared out and ready. 

When he got to his seat up front, he plopped down into it and it was perfect as always.This was his favorite place in the galaxy and while it was bleaker and more painful to sit here alone than it ever had been, it still fit him better than anywhere else.It was still way better than all the chairs and couches and beds that never fit him that he’d had to put up with the last few weeks.

He pulled up the ship’s computer screen and began running through the diagnostics and schematics.Everything seemed to be running as it should.All the fuel cells were holding and regenerating at maximum capacity which was good.The engines were operating as normal.He checked the graph beside it to be sure and sure enough there were no abnormal fluctuations so far.Shields good, weapons charged, life support on and running smooth, batteries good.The _Benatar_ was truly ready now.

Out of the corner of his eye though, Rocket saw the small music player icon on his screen was already glowing.Downloading their music into the ship’s computer had been one of the first things they’d done since the destruction of the Walkman, so seeing it there wasn’t surprising, but it was glowing like it had already been on.Curious, Rocket pushed the icon and waited.

The entire ship suddenly sung as the familiar sound of “New York Groove” poured out of every speaker in the vast ship, echoing in the empty hallways and filling the place to the brim with its funky, upbeat sound.

As fast as he could Rocket turned the music off, his chest tightening an immediate sign that this had been a bad idea.He fought off the instant tears as the opening notes of “New York Groove” faded away. He glanced down and saw it had been on repeat, making his effort to fight off the tears even harder.Someone had been listening to it on repeat.Someone had been listening to it on the ship’s computer while he’d been off with Thor. 

Quill.It had to be.That was what he did when he was hurting.But why had he been hurting?What had happened?Rocket sighed shakily, the emotions pulsing through him all over again.

Every time he thought he was okay, some little thing set him off.He couldn’t go on like this.He had to fix this.

He sat in his lonely chair and waited until the sky had deepened into an even purer navy blue and the stars shone through the thick Earth atmosphere enough for him to recognize at least some of them.They felt so far away but the engine’s whirring told him they weren’t so far now.A ship was freedom; a freedom he hadn’t had these last couple weeks which had been driving him crazy.He wasn’t used to staying anywhere for long.Let alone being basically stranded on this dirt ball with a bunch of strangers.Everything felt so weird and distorted these days and it left him feeling so empty.But Thanos was on another dirt ball around one of those stars.He’d go find him and hound him and everything would be okay. 

He’d see.Everything would be okay.

After sitting there like that for who knows how long, he finally got up and made his way to the back of the ship to wait for the others.He pulled out his biggest guns from the racks on the walls and started adjusting and swapping out attachments.Giving his hands something to do while he thought things through had always been his best coping mechanism.He threw all the parts on the center table and climbed up to sit amongst them.He ignored, however much the handwriting may hurt, the notes for him to leave Gamora and Quill’s attachments alone and started merging bigger and bigger pieces together.

As he had expected, Thor wasn’t patient enough to wait for explicit permission.The god of thunder marched up the ramp all business and ignoring the calls to wait from Rogers outside.Rocket pretended he didn’t hear them and locked eyes with Thor.Thor nodded at him and stopped right before the table.

“It is finally time, Rabbit,” He declared with all the flair his new cape commanded.

Rocket raised an eyebrow. “Sure is, drama queen.Did you get a new outfit for the occasion or is this the old one?”

Thor looked down at himself. “Old one.Which is still relatively new for me, but yes, you’ve seen this one already.” Rocket grunted in response and continued adding a better stream channeler to his weapon to help concentrate the beam.He could feel Thor still staring at him though. “How… how are you doing, Rabbit?”

“I’m fine.We’ll get there and fix this and then it’ll all be over.”

Thor nodded and backed up from the table a little.Rocket didn’t mean to snap at him but it had hurt them both anyway. “Where would you like me to be then?” He asked.Rocket thought hard about it.Where did he want them to be?

He led Thor to the cockpit and _hmmm_ ed as he thought.Selfishly, he wanted Thor up front.He wasn’t exactly chummy with any of the others so he’d rather have Thor closer to him than someone else.However, the god wasn’t great with navigating and wouldn’t be able to see as well so perhaps Drax or Gamora’s seat in front of him would serve him better.But then who did he put next to him? 

Suddenly, he heard other, fast-approaching footsteps and before he could react, Captain Marvel was in the room and stomping past him.

“Hey!” He protested but all he got in response was a nod before she looked over the seats.Rocket fumed and tried to stop her, but she plopped down into Quill’s seat before he could.Rocket’s face failed to conceal the fact that that very act alone felt like a spit in the face at Quill’s memory and like he was betraying him by letting her sit down without any qualms about it at all.Thor looked from her to his pained expression quickly and glared at the back of her head.

More footsteps followed and Rogers came up beside him. “Sorry for the intrusion, Rocket,” He apologized and Rocket raised an eyebrow. “We were _going_ to ask if it was okay,” He directed at Thor.

Thor wasn’t phased. “It was okay,” He shot back, finally deciding on the seat directly to his right and against the back wall.Rocket sighed as he did so.There went his chance to have him closer.

“It’s fine, Rogers,” Rocket waved off. “Let’s just get underway. **Everyone** is going to sit where **I** tell them to, okay??” Captain Marvel gave him a smug look for that and he resisted the overwhelming urge to throw himself at her face.He told himself that he didn’t because that would be a waste of energy he could throw at Thanos.There would be time later. “I sit here.Fancypants with the glowing hair has already decided on sitting next to me which is her mistake.Rhodey, sit by Thor.Rogers, you get behind me.” Groot’s seat, he thought with a wince. “Romanov, next to him.” Mantis’s seat.The pain increased. “Banner, take that seat below Marvel and, Nebula, up front where I can see you.” They took Drax and Gamora’s seats without question- Nebula gravitating to her sister’s spot with a grumble, probably without knowing the significance of what she was doing- and Rocket had to look away as they did so.His breathing was growing harder as he fought with his emotions.This was too hard.He couldn’t do this.

But he had to.He’d come this far.They couldn’t back out now. 

He took his seat and tried to regain his composure.The rising sun streaked in through the huge glass windshield and bathed them all in a refreshing yellow light.Whether he was ready or not, it was time to go.

Rocket took a shaky deep breath and threw the _Benatar_ into the proper gear.She purred and came to life instantly at his touch.The engines roared to fierce life.As she lifted from the ground, his hands flying over her controls to bring her around and ready her engines for a proper liftoff, the familiar electric buzz that came with piloting sent a much needed rush of adrenaline and excitement through his veins.This was what he was made for. _Literally_ , he thought with another wince but let it pass.The speed, thought, skill, and focus required to fly a ship came naturally to him and calmed him like nothing else could.He was flying her single-handedly, but he didn’t mind.The tiny bit of joy and familiarity it brought him was the necessary push he needed to keep going.

“Hold on, Terrans,” Rocket sneered back at his passengers.He saw Rhodey’s brow furrow and Thor smirk beside him. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He yanked both the handles back hard and savored the trill in his stomach as the _Benatar_ leapt into the sky at top speed.The grin that split across his face was involuntary.He did a couple quick twists and corkscrews through the sky to express his excitement through flight and really get the engines going.So far, so good.They were on their way.At last, his harsh revenge was on its way. 

He glanced down through the windshield at the green and brown continent growing smaller beneath them and the growing brighter blue sky surrounding them.It was impossible not to think of Quill.Rocket had the hardest time imagining him growing up here.He wondered if after he came back from the Snap he would want to come back here.He had never seemed to want to before, but maybe after everything that had happened and Rocket knowing the planet better, he would want to revisit it. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rogers looking down at the planet too with an unreadable expression on his face.As they broke the last layers of the atmosphere and the deep, rich, navy blue of space he’d dearly missed enveloped the ship, Rogers watched as the Earth grew smaller and smaller behind them.Rocket’s eyes narrowed as watching him reminded him of an important thing to ask. _Time to be the captain._

“Okay,” He announced, shocking a couple people out of their thoughts. “Who here _hasn’t_ been to space?” He watched with one eyebrow raised as Romanov, Rogers, and Rhodey all slowly raised their hands.Rhodey’s irritated and disbelieving expression didn’t escape him as Rocket turned back around with half a smirk.He couldn’t resist quickly muttering, “Oh, you’re gonna _hate_ this,” before laying down a more important ground rule. “None of you better throw up on my ship.” The Avengers behind him mumbled a couple affirmatives to that and held their armrests a bit tighter.This was going to be fun.

He readied the _Benatar_ , taking her from liftoff mode to jump mode by bringing the thrusters together and pulling up the nav-computer.

“Approaching the jump,” Nebula said suddenly from her spot down below him.Rocket grit his teeth a little.He’d forgotten to turn off her nav-computer when he powered it up.He didn’t need her help or want it, but now, just like Gamora usually could, she could see their navigation and had taken that as her cue to assist with the jump.Just perfect.He rolled his eyes and tried to focus.

“Yeah, I see it,” He replied reluctantly.The jump was surprisingly simple from Earth to the Garden which was probably good for his novice passengers.The _Benatar_ jolted slightly as the jump tech prepared the ship and opened their access point. 

“In 3,” Nebula continued and Rocket’s ears fell back.He tried to focus on his screen instead and readied the throttle but he heard Thor chuckle under his breath at his obvious irritation. “2… 1.” On 1 he slammed the throttle down and the _Benatar_ picked up speed.The jump drive’s humming intensified and the windshield quickly became a collection of brightly colored streaks heading around and past them.This was one of the things he loved most about space: the colors as you picked up speed.So many planet-based people saw space as this dead, black void.But it only took a bit of flying to see the vibrant, neon blasts of color it held, as flamboyant as the _Benatar_ herself.He felt more like himself just seeing it all.

He saw the familiar, glowing hex pattern up ahead in no time and sped towards the jump point.The ship rocked as they pushed through it with a mild sonic wave to match.It didn’t take long before what they’d come for slid into view.

The Garden.On his panel, he could tell that it wasn’t much bigger than the planet they had just left behind.The schematics of it he’d seen when they made the plan and looked over the shockwave from Snap Number Two showed a surprisingly bio-friendly place.He checked the display again and reread the brief margin statistics that listed a great number of plant species and a thriving atmosphere.The Terrans would be safe to breathe then.The orange and green planet hung in front of them, getting ominously bigger with each second as Rocket brought them in closer.

As he shifted the _Benatar_ ’s thrusters back into planetary formation and reduced their speed for an orbit, Danvers got out of Quill’s chair and started to walk past him.

“Where do ya think you’re going?” He asked, keeping focused on the screens but making sure his tone was clearly a warning.

She stared back at him with the same warning in her stare. “I’ll head down for recon,” She reported. “If I’m not back in fifteen, you’ll know I found him.”

“Come back whether you find him or not,” Rocket corrected.They locked eyes for a couple seconds, both more stubborn than the other probably realized, until finally Danvers nodded her agreement.Rocket slowed the engines even more so he didn’t burn her instantly when she exited and opened up the hatch menu on his panel to relinquish control of the airlock to the back.Within a minute, he heard the hatch open and watched Captain Marvel dash out and towards the planet. 

He leaned back and stared at the planet with his arms folded.The other heroes got out of the other seats and started to mill about as they waited for Danvers to come back, but Rocket just glared at the giant mass in front of him with malice.His face twitched with impatience every now and then as the seconds slugged on like minutes and the minutes like hours.

_He_ was down there.

The monster who had traveled far across the galaxy to commit the biggest mass murder in the history of the universe was sitting right down there doing who knows what as he waited for them.

They had traveled a good chunk of the galaxy to get here and they were going to set it right.Rocket scowled and thought for the thousandth time today about the family he should be here with and vowed for probably the millionth time that he was going to set this right if it was the last thing he ever did.

“This is going to work, Steve,” He heard Romanov whisper behind him and a quick glance over his shoulder showed Romanov, Rogers, and Banner standing together behind Mantis’s seat.Rocket definitely didn’t feel a pang of loneliness in his chest looking at these friends reassuring each other.He definitely did **not** feel that.

Rogers sighed before responding. “I know it will.” He paused for a while before continuing in a much softer voice. “Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if it doesn’t.”

Rocket couldn’t have agreed with him more as the silence resettled and they continued to wait.


End file.
